Creative Living Experiment

Presenting: Creative Living Experiment - The Sequel

2010-07-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

blossoming

It's time.

I'll miss this space, but I bought the URL and I've been paying for Squarespace since January. Please come join me at my new digs: www.creativelivingexperiment.com.

I look forward to seeing you there!

Post-Vacation Blahs

2010-07-24T18:31:00.001-07:00

morning sun at Cap-des-Rosiers
(across the road from our motel)

It seems my trip to the East coast has left me in a tender space. After a week that brought soul-filling moments of peace and contentment I've slipped into a space of envy and dissatisfaction. It happened after last year's vacation too.

Maybe it's Mother Nature's doing, she brings me back to my core and sometimes she invites me to stay a while and entertain Life's Big Questions. Or maybe it's just my disgruntled reaction to a return to work and schedules vs. the freedom of a summer road trip.

Whatever it is, my intuition is telling me to scale back to my list of proven Basics and that means a little less time at the computer and a little more time taking care of myself and my home.

My intuition's pretty smart that way, I think I'll listen to it and see what comes.

See you soon.
xo

Belle Gaspésie

2010-07-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

view from lookout on the way up to Mont Saint-Alban's
observation tower - Forillon National Park, QC

I'm back from my trip to the East coast and easing into post-vacation activities like work, chores and even writing here. I still marvel at the scenery taken in during our five days in Quebec's beautiful Gaspésie.

I'll be back with a trip report and a few favourite photos soon. In the meantime I thought I'd share the one above, taken on a climb up Mont Saint-Alban in Canada's Forillon National Park. It still takes my breath away.

Belle Gaspésie, I am smitten.

After the Flow, The Creative Ebb

2010-07-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

work in progress - untitled

After the creative high comes the inevitable crash.

June was all about doing: setting up a new Web site, taking flying lessons in creative entrepreneurship, expanding connections with like-minded people, busting through artistic comfort zones and producing new paintings, conjuring up, planning and scheduling new projects for the fall. It was a full-on trip of creative momentum and energy.

Enter July.

July surprised me with a considerable shift in energy and is whispering to me about being: sitting, writing, observing, experiencing the present and letting go of to-do lists and expectations. It's also shifting my thoughts from the outward matters of business, networking and creativity to more inward matters like the home, roots, family and nature. It's a slowing down, a return to the core after a flurry of external activity.

I won't lie, there's a part of me (most likely an irrational one) that's afraid I've lost June's creative flow forever; luckily another part of me is practicing trust that this creative ebb is all part of the process and necessary to replenish the well.

Maybe it's simply time to embrace flow of a different kind for a while. I'm choosing to ~~run~~ sit with it and see where it takes me.

PS - I'll be away from this space for a week or so as I take a break to soak in some salty sea air, but I'll be back the week of the 19th - maybe even with that new Web site I've been promising! See you on the flip side. xo

Sweet Summer

2010-07-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

lace

"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability." ~ Sam Keen

It seems a stretch of hot humid days is upon us; today's creative momentum manifested into a burst of of morning activity that gradually transformed into blissful afternoon slumber.

Sweet summer. Bring it.

Heeding the Creative Call

2010-07-01T07:11:00.000-07:00

splash
(12" x 6" on canvas)

I am bursting with creative inspiration. New ideas, ideas revisited, ideas in the making... they're all coming up in the form of insights, dreams and journal entries. It's creative momentum at its best I tell ya, exhilarating and scary all at once!

I've been here before, but this time I feel a renewed energy and optimism - a whisper of belief that maybe, just maybe, I can make some of these ideas happen.

It's time to heed the call.

What whispers are calling you?

A Work Complete

2010-06-28T08:11:00.000-07:00

Midsummer Blooms - a work in progress

I show you many works in progress here, but I realized that I rarely show you the same piece once it's finished. That's probably because most of the time it never reaches that point.

Up until now if I didn't finish a piece in one paint session the chances of it ever being finished went from slim to none. Why? Because I was afraid of screwing up what I had.

Last week I took my unfinished Summer Solstice piece (above) to my art class and decided that with the intrinsic support of the group and my teacher I would walk out with a finished product. My frustration of having unfinished paintings sitting around the studio outgrew my fear and I decided to trust the process.

Turns out it really didn't take much tweaking for me to pronounce it complete, but the experience of pushing through and the satisfaction of getting it done were tremendous. Here's the end result:

Solstice in Bloom - a work complete
(see how I even changed the name in the process?)

How do you create? Do you usually finish a piece - whether it's a painting, a sculpture or a short story - in one session or is your work spread out across time? Do you find it difficult to pick up an unfinished piece for completion?

One Year Ago this Saturday in June

2010-06-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

One year ago on this particular Saturday in June, I married D. Today I weep with joy and gratitude at the myriad of moments from that day that are still so crisp and fresh in my heart and mind...

drinking champagne and orange juice with my chick tribe before the morning ceremony, realizing that I'd be OK no matter what because I had this amazing support network of women in my life;
seeing D. for the first time as I walked down the aisle to a jazzy Moon River, breaking into a grin that lasted the entire day;
swaying my hips to the jazz trio's rendition of Miles Davis' All Blues during the signing of the register;
holding D.'s hand and feeling him squeeze it nervously while he spoke to our guests at the luncheon;
catching a glimpse of friends and family working diligently to prepare our home for the evening cake-cutting party while we were having our pictures taken outside, J. and L. setting up the bar, Mom vacuuming the dog fur from the couch and windowsill;
reading contributions to our garland of wedding wishes over and over - laughing, crying and feeling overwhelmed by Love;
watching guests have fun with the homemade photo booth;
Cassie chasing her tail in the middle of the living room dance floor to Footloose;
D. searching out this song in the MP3's, leading me into an impromptu wedding dance, friends & family singing along in serenade;
feeling content and loved on so many levels.

I could go on and on, but I will spare you and leave you with a few of my favourite photos instead. All of them were taken by my beautiful Squam-sister and friend Kirsten Michelle.

arriving to the ceremony, chauffeured by Sis in the Mini Cooper

the I Do's

our friends and family are gorgeous!

sunshine and smiles

Cassie love

impromptu wedding dance
(this is one of my favourites!)

Off-kilter

2010-06-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

Dark Side of the Moon

Is it Saturday's full moon? Was it yesterday's earthquake? Or is it the seemingly high number of bizarre accidents and incidents in the city this week?

These past few days have left me feeling discombobulated, off-kilter and distracted.

Is anyone else out there feeling it?

Welcome Summer

2010-06-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

work in progress: Midsummer Blooms

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.
- Ada Louise Huxtable

Happy Summer Solstice. I wish you many days of jeweled balm and drunken belief.

Stephanie
xo

Feeling Alive and Grateful

2010-06-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

cowboy boots and vintage tile
(feeling creatively inspired and alive makes me do bold things
like wear my cowboy boots to the office)

June is turning out to be a very productive, insightful and creative month with an abundance of ideas, inspiration, action, rest and play. I feel alive and grateful.

I've been...

working diligently on my new Website, one hour at a time, hoping to launch at the end of this month or the beginning of July - stay tuned!
incubating an idea for a Winter solstice event
enjoying the oodles of inspiration, momentum and practical information coming from Kelly Rae Roberts' Flying Lessons, trying to digest it, formulate it into goals and slate it into future time slots
witnessing individuals expand their comfort zones and spread their creative wings, inspiring me and no doubt others to do the same
taking breaks from the computer, spending time with a good book or with my Honey to balance it all out and recoup from intense outputs of creative energy
exploring and experimenting with various forms of structure I could practice to help bring some of my creative ideas to fruition
savouring the first local strawberries and fresh vegetables from the farmers' market
planning a trip home to New Brunswick with a side trip to new hiking destinations
thinking up new experiments and blog posts, jotting down ideas
catching glimpses of something in the making, another significant milestone in my creative journey that I can't yet pinpoint or explain
taking in the goodness of summer-like days, ready to welcome the season officially with open arms

Despite the fullness of the past few weeks and what could be perceived at busy-ness I feel content and at peace. Life is good.

How 'bout you? What leaves you feeling alive and grateful these days?

Scenes of Summer

2010-06-15T17:54:00.001-07:00

A few images to celebrate beautiful weather and the sweetness of summer...

lady slipper in morning sunlight
(taken on our first hike of the season!)

sky lines

sunburst

two of my favourite peeps

strawberries and Saltscapes
(dreaming of a trip home to the East coast and the salty sea air)

A Sudden Influx of Creative Possibility

2010-06-12T09:22:00.000-07:00

It seems that flying lessons has spurred me into an expanded creative orbit of possibility with so many ideas and actions I want to take that it's exhilarating and overwhelming all at the same time.

a braindump of creative goals

The past few weeks have been a flurry of creative ideas, opportunities, to-dos and micro-actions, followed by a few micro-crashes. I'm not sure how to deal with it all, but until I figure out a system (or accept that I won't) I've been working through it as follows:

I write everything down: ideas, to-dos, what-ifs, questions, references, blog addresses, book titles, etc. Better have it clutter my desk than having it clutter my mind.
I write micro-actions on my whiteboard and erase them when they're done. Satisfaction ensues. (I seem to enjoy the soothing white space left on the board when I erase them vs. the increased clutter of lines when I cross them off.)
I set loose weekly and monthly goals. They may not always be realistic, in fact, they may be overly optimistic, but they give me a sense of focus and help me practice discernment and patience. Not all things need to be done immediately, some things can indeed wait.
I run with momentum when it's there. If I'm on a roll and the energy's high I go with it knowing that it most likely won't last. I accept the flow.
But I try to get to bed at a decent hour and allow myself time to unwind with a novel or some deep breathing to stop the creative monkey mind from taking over. I get excited about my creative projects and when the adrenalin's pumping could easily work on them late into the night - and sometimes I do - but it will catch up with me. I need to be aware of that.
I listen to my body and mind. If I'm feeling tired or struggling to focus or concentrate I stop and rest, knowing that the energy will come back. I remember my Basics and recharge. I accept the ebb.

This has been working for me for the past few weeks, but I'm not sure how effective it will be without injecting a bit of structure, whatever form that may take. Being a self-confessed productivity geek, I'm thoroughly enjoying the prospect of experimenting and figuring out what works to get things done.

How do you deal with an influx of creative ideas, possibility and to-dos?

Adventures in Abstract Painting

2010-06-07T14:11:00.001-07:00

I'm taking an abstract painting class and it's pushing me out of my comfort zone both in my painting and in my ability to call myself an artist.

The good news is I'm slowly feeling that comfort zone grow with each class and each new painting as I learn different techniques and glean knowledge from my more experienced classmates. It's been good.

I'm still discovering my style and preferences. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to settle on just one and I think that's ok. Or maybe a preference will eventually show itself as I continue to play.

I thought I'd show you what I've been learning...

bloom blue
(8"x8")

flight
(14"x10")

this is a work-in-progress replica of a piece in
Rolina van Vilet's book The Art of Abstract Painting
(16"x16")

unnamed, a work in progress from my last class
where we practiced image transfers
(10"x10")

On Fortuitous Doubts and Insecurities...

2010-06-03T18:39:00.000-07:00

something about Mary

I signed up for Kelly Rae Roberts' e-course, Flying Lessons: Tips & Tricks To Help Your Creative Business Soar, and resisting it greatly.

I love it. I know I want it. I believe it's the next step in the path I want to forge in both my artistic and work lives. But I've been blindsided by fear almost to the point of tears and all I can say is WTF?

This is not about the course. The course so far is amazing.

I suspect it's more about resident doubts and insecurities at even thinking that I could be a successful artist or a businesswoman. I knew they were there, I guess I just never gave them such a perfect opportunity to all show up at once. I guess it's time to deal.

Wish me luck?

Photography Month @ CLE Comes to a Close

2010-05-31T09:43:00.000-07:00

Would someone please tell me where the month of May went? Seriously?

My Photography Month experiment is now at an end. Although I missed out on some of the things I wanted to do, I still consider it a success. Why?

Because it prompted me to pick up my camera. Even better, it helped me redevelop a lost reflex to reach for the camera and play. Just play.

I illustrated my posts here with images.

I googled a bit and found sites with tips for using point and shoot cameras (see here and here) and photography quotes accompanied by great landscapes (here).

I searched the house far and wide for my user manual to see how I could play with my manual settings. Unfortunately that's as far as I got 'cause I couldn't find it. (I was sure I saw it after the move.) But I was ready to play - and learn!

I reflected on photos, how they impact us and why we take them. I reflected on photography and how it's changed in the digital age from film, and even more from the age of Ansel Adams who lugged a limited number of plates up mountains to take pictures. I thought about how disposable it's become and is that a pro, a con, or either depending on the context?

All in all it was a fun experiment; I hope you enjoyed it too. And who knows, it may even seep into June if I can find that user manual. In the meantime I leave you with a few snapshots of the intoxicating peonies that grace my home these days. Till the next experiment...

happiness in a bloom

grace in a jam jar

pink explosion

center in focus

ruffles

Shadow Puppet Fun

2010-05-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

one blank cement wall + perfect sunset timing
+ silly daughters and their mom
= shadow puppet fun!

running woman

tree pose

lopsided heart

happy

Mom & daughters peacing out

Joys of a Trusty Point and Shoot

2010-05-22T06:06:00.000-07:00

My name is Stephanie and I own a point and shoot (P&S) camera. Her name is Matilda, she's a Canon PowerShot A590IS and she serves me well.

Matilda

I used to post a lot more photos here on my blog. Then I began hanging out with a bunch of wonderful people who had nice (read: fancier) cameras and did all sorts of beautiful artistic things with them. So I became intimidated (self-imposed of course!) and stopped playing with my little Canon P&S. No more photos for Stephanie, or if there were photos there certainly weren't as many publicly displayed here.

Hooey. C'est fini ça.

Although there are things I can't do with my little Matilda that I could do with a fancier camera, there are many things I can do:

I can play with colour, light and composition.

girly lamp

I can play with lines and shapes.
I can capture flare.
I can capture images of my favourite peeps, places or things.

D. and Cassie on Blue Mountain

I can stick it in my pocket or my purse for easy travel or access.
I can use my macro setting to take pictures of interesting details.

Hosta no 74

I can photograph my artwork.
I can illustrate a quote, a feeling or a story.

shades of grey on Bennett Lake

Plus so many things I haven't tried yet.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing the fancy cameras. In fact, someday I foresee owning one and delving into more technical aspects of the craft.

But today I needed a reminder that even with a simple point and shoot I can play and experiment; I can illustrate my emotions and stories; I can take pictures that bring me pleasure or capture the essence of something I see. And so can you.

Do you have favourite point and shoot photos? Drop me a link in the comments if you do; I'd love to see them.

How I Experienced "A Vision of Squam" 2009 (or On Pushing Through Your Fears...)

2010-05-20T07:12:00.001-07:00

A Vision of Squam 2009 promotional postcard

Liz Kalloch from Athena Dreams Design is posting wonderful write-ups from artists who submitted work to last year's Vision of Squam art show to describe their experience. A few of us were first-timers dealing with fears, insecurities and joyful courage throughout the process.

I invite you to head on over to see what yours truly had to say...

Basking

2010-05-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

I am basking in love and friendship from this past weekend. Sentences escape me, all I can offer you is a stream of words that come to mind to describe it:

family, friends, new baby smell, Cassie, communal party preparations, getting our groove on, merriment, smitten, disco, Imagine, emotional, party, laughter, fun, food, dancing, good times, warmth, appreciation, quiet, morning coffee, family walk, baby poopers, peace, love, celebration, home, contentment

Seriously folks, still basking.

Too busy working the room and passing out Swedish meatballs on Saturday night I've unfortunately no pictures of the '70s party for you today; I'll see if I can get a few shots from others who thankfully brought their cameras!

The weekend was much more than the party though. I leave you with a few snapshots of other favourite house-warming weekend moments...

Ashlynn and Grandma Woods

Sunday morning family walk to the beach - D. and Cassie chillin'

green leaves on blue sky

sisters-in-law

Ashlynn with Uncle D. and Auntie Steph

A Matter of Photographic Perception

2010-05-15T06:01:00.000-07:00

"Photography, as a powerful medium of expression and communications, offers an infinite variety of perception, interpretation and execution."

- Ansel Adams

Post-Move Delights

2010-05-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

During these past few weeks in my new home I've been...

...intoxicated by the sweet scent of Lily of the Valley

...anticipating the arrival of peonies by my front door

...basking in natural light

...delighting in the sight and sound of candy apple red appliances that sound like they're about to take off

...marveling at my proximity to this and looking forward to enjoying it more.

What have you been up to?

Photography Month @ CLE

2010-05-08T06:51:00.000-07:00

Prompted by TV Ontario's Photography Month, a quest for a new monthly focus and an urge to incorporate more photos into my blogging, I decided to observe my own Photography Month here at Creative Living Experiment.

During the next three weeks you will see more photography-related posts, some favourite photography resources and hopefully more snapshots of my own.

My focus will not be on the technical aspects of photography, I do not have the knowledge nor the equipment to offer you that. What I can offer you however are insights from an experiential perspective. How do I experience photos and the process of taking them?

Within the framework set out above I'm leaving the experiment pretty open. The goal is not to limit myself, but to think, practice and articulate. And maybe even learn a thing or two.

Won't you join me? How could you incorporate a focus on photography for the next three weeks? What photography-related practices would you like to play with, study or explore?

I'd love the company.

Celebrating Photography Month

2010-05-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

Note: If you don't live in Ontario and don't have TVO keep reading, you can create your own Photography Month!

Once again, to coincide with Toronto's CONTACT Photography Festival, May is TV Ontario's Photography Month. In addition to hosting a photo contest, a gallery and a blog, TVO is showing documentaries that "celebrate the power, artistry and craft of photography" throughout the month.

Last year, thanks to TVO's Photography Month I was introduced to the great story of Edward Weston and Charis Wilson via two documentaries called Eloquent Nude and Peppers and Nudes: The Photographer Edward Weston. I also caught an inspiring documentary on Annie Liebovitz called Life Through a Lens. All three are repeated this year.

This time 'round I've already been introduced to the work of Shelby Lee Adams (I found some of his photos disturbing, but liked others) and I plan to catch a repeat documentary on Ansel Adams and another called Houses of Hristina. See the full documentary schedule here.

"But wait, I don't live in Ontario and I don't get TVO!"

Do not despair. Is there anything you could do or highlight to create your own Photography Month? Could you find some of the featured documentaries at the library? Maybe you could find a book that teaches some of the technical aspects you've been wanting to tackle or maybe you could simply make a point of spending more time taking photos.

TVO viewer or not, what could you do this month to ""celebrate the power, artistry and craft of photography"?

A Quick Update

2010-04-30T04:49:00.000-07:00

We (and the movers) survived the move. It's been all-encompassing for the past several weeks and I look forward to bringing a bit more balance to my life.

The process of dismantling my previous home, purging, packing and hauling the material contents of my life to my new one, and creating a new living space from scratch has prompted many emotions and reflections that I may eventually write about here.

In the meantime though, things are becoming settled. The 70's basement is awesome, the kitchen has been functional for five full days now (Huzzah!), and the contents of my office and studio boxes sit on white Ikea shelves, waiting to be organized into a practical space that's conducive to creativity.

The only glitch: we still don't have Internet access. I've been bumming time on D's iPhone, including the time spent writing this post (thank you D!). Since he's about to leave for work though I'm afraid I must cut my update here rather abruptly. I can't wait to be back full time.

See you soon...

Time to Move

2010-04-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

It's time. I can't delay it any longer. We must disconnect the Internet and pack up the electronics.

The movers will be backing their truck into the driveway first thing tomorrow morning and the familiar sound of the diesel engine will no doubt kick me into a somewhat surreal high gear for the following three or four hours.

It's a routine all too familiar to me. First the walkabout to survey how much and what kind of stuff needs to go, then the dismantling of bigger pieces to fit through the doorways and finally, the rhythmic and coordinated loading of the truck.

I was hoping to craft a post on the ritual of leaving one home and creating another, tapping into the emotions and reflections of the past few weeks spent in limbo between the dismantling of our current living space and the preparation of the one to come. But alas the words just aren't there. Perhaps another post.

It's time to shut down for a few days to set up house. I'll see you flip side.

Lost Internet, Found Productivity

2010-04-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

My home Internet connection is down this week and my tech support is on a beach in the Dominican Republic. My presence here tonight is courtesy of Sis & Bro-in-Law's generosity in letting me use their computer to catch up online.

Although initially I panicked, I think the lost Internet connection is a blessing in disguise. Had I had email an Facebook at my fingertips this week I surely wouldn't have accomplished all that I wanted to in preparation for next week's move. I guess in a way I am grateful.

Sometimes timing is everything.

On Discovering and Using Our Creative Voice...

2010-04-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

"You make good work by (among other things) making lots of work that isn't very good, and gradually weeding out the parts that aren't good, the parts that aren't yours. It's called feedback, and it's the most direct route to learning about your own vision. It's also called doing your work. After all, someone has to do your work, and you're the closest person around."
- David Bayles & Ted Orland, Art & Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking

Three things jump out at me from this quote:

We each have a creative voice and vision that are unique to us, our job is to discover them and apply them to our creative practice.
Consistent practice, perseverance and play are key to discovering this uniqueness. In other words, quality will eventually come out of quantity.
Creating true to our voice is enough to make our work good whether it's ever published or displayed for anyone else to see.

Where have I been?

2010-04-07T12:51:00.000-07:00

Obviously not here, hm? I've been...

choosing paint colours for what will soon become our new home
dealing with another move, realizing that I become very attached to any space I create for myself and how hard it is to leave each one
adjusting to the idea of living in a seventies bungalow after spending four years in circa 1920's abodes that fed my romantic soul with their woodwork, high ceilings and architectural detail
realizing that the '70s house we're moving to has just as much architectural detail, it's just different, and that maybe it'll feed my fun-loving funky soul for a while
washing, prepping and painting three rooms at the new place
sleeping
shopping for window coverings
eating take-out, trying to stay on the healthy side of things
neglecting my blog, my emails and my online community; beating myself up just a little because of it
crashing on the couch with D. and Cassie, escaping in episode after episode of Mad Men Season 2 (seriously, I can't watch just one!)
sleeping more
dealing with the odd bout of insomnia
purging belongings from a previous marriage, getting rid of the old to make room for the new, but keeping some of the old to honour it and remind me of the goodness and richness that helped me become who I am today
packing just a little, wondering how I'll get it all done before the move in two weeks from tomorrow
scheming a new-to-me palette for the living & dining rooms: all white walls grounded by our wood-tone furniture, accentuated with pops of colour inspired by Giselle:

watching the laundry and dustbunnies pile up in my current home
revelling in enthusiastic conversation and a stroll by the river with a good friend
enjoying good company and good food at an Easter BBQ graciously hosted by Sis and Bro-in-Law
sleeping more
missing my new niece
getting excited for my other bro-in-law (on D.'s side) and his fiancée as they head down to Punta Cana to get married next Monday
reading a book called Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher; it brought me so many a-ha moments it was almost overwhelming
adjusting to new types of tasks at the office after choosing to leave a project on which I'd been working for the past 18 months
trying to write my morning pages regularly to stay grounded during this time of transition
trying to eat healthy food to fuel my body to cull, pack and clean
fretting just a little bit over where I will set up my studio in the new place
pondering a new experiment with a new series of posts, similar to last month's Creative Triggers experiment
managing my expectations of what's realistic for me to achieve in the upcoming weeks, thinking they will be focused on creating a new space for D., Cassie and I
planning a '70s theme housewarming party (you betcha!)
mulling over roots, family and home and how I'm feeling drawn to settle down these days
enjoying the sensation of zest, energy and potential I feel at the thought of moving to our new home, continuing my art, and exploring other projects

What've you been up to lately?

Creative Trigger #4: Magazines

2010-03-26T13:21:00.000-07:00

This post is the fourth and last in a weekly series on personal creative triggers: places, people or things from which I draw creative or artistic inspiration. To see previous posts click here.

In the first post of this series I admitted to being a documentary junkie; today I admit that my addiction to magazines is a very close second. In the same family as documentaries, magazines stimulate the creative juices in similar ways:

craft-specific magazines help us keep up with trends and practices related to our craft of choice whether it's writing poetry, macro photography or making art out of recycled bits & pieces;
artist, writer or photographer profiles serve as inspiration and may even prompt us to study their creative processes and try some of their techniques;
small business magazines are helpful if we're trying to build our creative practice into a self-sufficient entity;
as with documentaries (see week 1), exposure to new subjects and ideas can trigger even more ideas by combining them with the ones we already have;
picking up a magazine on a foreign subject can pull us out of a slump by introducing us to a new industry, geographical area or maybe even to a new market for our artwork or writing; and
magazines are an easy and relatively cheap (some art or design-related magazines can get pricey!) way to dip our toes into a new creative world or medium, inviting us to learn and push our creative boundaries.

When it comes to magazines that inspire creativity there are some fairly common ones, especially in the world of mixed media:

Somerset Studio
Artful Blogging
Where Women Create
Art Journaling
and mostly anything put out by Stampington & Company

But I like to mix it up a little to get some cross-pollination of ideas going around, here are a few others I've picked up at least once that were fun and inspiring in one way or another:

Architectural Digest
Shambala Sun
Mother Earth News
HOW Design
Success for Women
Nature Photographer
Writer's Digest
Artworks
Cowboys & Indians (OK I admit, Tom Selleck was on the cover)
Mompreneur
PINK
and many many more...

Um, did I mention my addiction?

How about you? Do you have any favourite magazines that either spur you into creativity or help you support it?

36 Things: A Status Update

2010-03-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be 37 tomorrow. To mark the occasion I thought it would be fun to review the status of last year's list of 36 things I wanted to do before I turned 37 (can someone please tell me where the year went?!):

1. run 5K
2. host a Creative Salon
3. update my resume
4.~~create my freelancing Web site and business card~~ - Moo cards printed, URL bought and site under construction
5. save $5000
6. ~~take a solo trip - it doesn't have to be far~~ - A day trip to Montreal to catch the Van Dongen exhibit at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts.
7. ~~show my artwork at a local café, restaurant or gallery~~ - I showed at not one but two places: my hair salon and, though it's not local, at the Vision of Squam art show. Hurray!
8. ~~go hiking somewhere new~~ - A new to me trail at Mer Bleue Bog; Algonquin Park; Acadia National Park in Bar Harbor, Maine.
9. lose 10 pounds
10. ~~find a pair of tall black boots~~ - They're black, they're tall and they're kickass sexy!
11. hike Gatineau Park's Wolf trail again
12. volunteer
13. write a personal essay - maybe even submit it for publication
14. self-publish a book on Blurb about my Urban Living Experiment
15. ~~clean/upgrade my PC~~ - Yup.
16. see a Cirque du Soleil performance
17. ~~get married (squee!)~~ - Squee!
18. bake a batch of Mom's chocolate chip cookies
19. research and profile ten female artists on my blog - past and present
20. publish a resource list on my blog (creativity, personal finance, writing, starting a business, etc.)
21. ~~meet three people active in the local arts community~~ - One I kept in touch with and two others I have their card and chatted with them during a seminar on art and market readiness, so half a point for this one.
22. ~~start a Creative Living Experiment blog~~ - Voici!
23. re-read The Omnivore's Dilemma
24. ~~go swimming~~ - I waded in to my waist so I'll give myself a half point for this one.
25. ~~go dancing~~ - Yup, with the girls at Gracie's.
26. go on a solo date on a summer terrace with a book
27. ~~write my morning pages at least four times a week~~ - I can't say for sure that I averaged four times, but I think it was close.
28. visit NYC with D.
29. go dancing with D.
30. ~~go canoeing~~ - On Bennett Lake during our week at the cottage. It was bliss there.
31. ~~make Mom's meat pie~~ - Yup and yum.
32. ~~take a drawing or painting class~~ - Abstract Painting and I loved it; workshops at Squam
33. ~~go to a Bluesfest concert~~ - Blue Rodeo, KISS & a few more
34. ~~have my photo taken for my Web site/creative business~~ - Although the photo shoot was just for fun, I'd definitely use some of the photos on my Web site!
35. do something with my mandala series - I don't know what yet
36. paint/collage at least once a week

Despite only having done about half of what I set out to do I am happy with the results. In addition to what's on the list I did so much more and for the most part, all was in the spirit of creating the life I want. That for me is success.

I intend to put forward another list this year and it will probably be just as aggressive, 'cause that's just how I roll. I strongly believe that if I write it down there's much more of a chance I'll make it happen. Besides, I've not much to lose by doing so but oh so much to gain.

Stay tuned...

Creative Trigger #3: Nature

2010-03-19T15:03:00.000-07:00

This post is the third in a weekly series on personal creative triggers: places, people or things from which I draw creative or artistic inspiration. Week 1. Week 2.

OK it's hardly original, but it's still worthy of its own post here because there's no denying it's one of my creative triggers. But how can I possibly reduce Mother Nature's creative inspiration to a bulleted list?

I won't try to include it all. I'll tackle only a fraction and focus on a few ways Mother Nature triggers creativity in my small world of visual art with the hopes that you'll find something valuable to your specific medium or practice. Here goes:

1) Nature's textures, colours and composition provide fodder for painting and photography. Think lines, patterns and colour juxtapositions for abstracts; vistas with mountains, water and sky for landscapes; and don't forget the birds and the bees - literally.

stillness reflected

fortuitous photo fluke of autumn colours

ice patterns with negative effect

2) Following the lead of shadows and sunlight (see week 2), nature exercises the imagination. Have you ever caught yourself cloud gazing or building fairy houses in the woods? Or maybe you see hidden shapes and images in the bark of a tree, the textures of a rock or the curves of a pepper?

3) Finally, nature instills the humility and stillness necessary for me to return to my Centre and connect with, among other things, my creative essence. Although not directly related to the canvas, the restorative qualities of nature do wonders for my spirit which in turn feeds my creative process. A hike in the woods or an afternoon by the sea can be the ultimate Artist Date.

Et voilà, three ways Mother Nature inspires my artistic play.

Sometimes obvious, sometimes subtle, Mother Nature's subjects are as endless as the artistic visions through which she is honoured. Surely she inspires in more ways than those captured here.

How does nature inspire you in your creative practice? Tell me. Show me.

Paints, Paper and Play

2010-03-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

After a five-week hiatus I returned to the art table for play. It felt good. Here's one of the results:

Step 1...

Step 2...

Et voilà...

I don't know her name yet. Any suggestions?

Creative Trigger #2: Shadows and Sunlight

2010-03-12T14:58:00.000-08:00

This post is the second in a weekly series called Creative Triggers. Click here for the first one.

I have an inexplicable fascination with shadows - shadows on the wall, shadows on the furniture, shadows on the floor... I love how they paint a pattern out of nothing, how they sometimes dance and how they can transform themselves from one moment to another.

Capturing the elusive state of a shadow at a specific point in time with my trusty point & shoot can bring me great satisfaction. Sometimes I lose myself in a Saturday morning household walkabout with my camera, seeking visual interest by following the sun's rays as they grace surfaces with patterns of all kinds.

This creative trigger is twofold:

1) shadows and patterns themselves are fodder for abstract painting

2) photographing shadows exercises my imagination, like cloud gazing

can you see the face?

I see a woman's profile and neck - sort of
what do you see?

Plus sometimes shadows are just plain fun.

Do you play with shadows? If so I'd love to hear about how or why they inspire you in the comments - or even better, leave a link to your own favourite shadow photos.

Smitten

2010-03-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

Seriously, how could you not be...

Ashlynn Heather Elizabeth

Meet our new niece: Ashlynn Heather Elizabeth, born March 1, 2010.

She weighed a whole 4lbs 11oz. when this picture was taken. A wee angel she is.

On Authenticity...

2010-03-08T09:15:00.000-08:00

"Authenticity is a force of nature. When you channel it to intentionally design the look and feel of every aspect of your life, your outsides begin to match your insides. And something truly magical happens. You continue to become more genuinely yourself, and you have more of what you want."

- Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte, Style Statement, Live by your own Design

Experimenting with a New Series: Creative Triggers

2010-03-05T11:49:00.000-08:00

This is the first of a series of posts on personal creative triggers: places, people or things from which I draw creative or artistic inspiration. These triggers may have spurred a burst of overall creative energy with no particular rhyme or reason, inspired a certain look & feel for a specific painting or sparked an interest to further unfurl my creative wings. I'm leaving it open.

My experiment will initially consist of four Creative Trigger posts during the month of March - one each week. You might not find anything new or maybe you will. You might find something familiar, but with a different twist, or maybe you'll find a timely reminder. As always I encourage you to take what you like and leave the rest.

Let's begin.

Creativity Trigger #1: Documentaries

I am a self-confessed documentary geek (nerd? junkie?). I rarely leave the library without picking one up. Whether they're about artists, chickens or muscle cars, documentaries have the potential to inspire in many ways:

how they're filmed - the cinematography, the chosen slant or the narrative style (for example, à la Ken Burns) may help shape our next painting, story or blog post;
biographies about leaders and other independent spirits can inspire us to be resourceful, fearless and persistent in our own creative endeavours;
biographies about artists, writers or photographers may prompt us to play with new tools, techniques or creative processes (don't forget to check out the special features for insights into the documentary maker's own creative process);
exposure to different subjects and ideas can trigger even more ideas by combining them with the ones we already have;
travel documentaries may plant a seed to explore region-specific art or architecture, or maybe even plan a trip to capture an area's beauty in person through words, a lens or on canvas; and
how-to documentaries teach us, well, how to do stuff.

Some of my favourite documentary discoveries include:

In the Realms of the Unreal (Explores the life and work of Henry Darger. I was inspired by Darger's resourcefulness and his mind-blowing creativity, plus the project planner in me loved how he backed up his stories with meticulous documentation.)
Eloquent Nude, The Love and Legacy of Edward Weston and Charis Wilson (This made me want to set off on a road trip with D. and document it - him with his camera, me with my laptop.)
Man Ray, Prophet of the Avant-Garde (Before stumbling upon this documentary I'd never heard of Man Ray; now I have.)
The Life and Times of Frida Kahlo (Frida! I can never get enough of Frida.)
Chased by the Light - A Video Journey with Jim Brandenburg (Stunning images captured by National Geographic photographer Jim Brandenburg on his quest to re-claim his photographic centre by limiting himself to one click of the shutter a day for 90 days.)
Riding the Rails (Explores the lives of teenage freight-train riders during the Great Depression. Something about the images and footage from the Depression era speaks to me.)

All of these were picked up on a whim at my local library for free - and I could list many more.

Tell me, what documentaries inspire you?

Post-Olympic Ponderings

2010-03-02T16:47:00.000-08:00

As I work through my withdrawal symptoms and slowly get my life back to a semblance of a routine after 17 days glued to the TV, I thought I'd share a few thoughts on the Olympics now that they're over...

I love how the Olympic spirit permeated conversations: "What did you think of the opening ceremonies?", "Wasn't that snowcross aMAzing?" or "OMG did you see the Tim Horton's commercial where the guy goes to the airport to pick up his family? It made me cry!" (it's true, it did).

I also liked how it permeated fashion and decor: the red mitts, the scarves and the hockey jerseys; the flags, the Olympic mural at work, the signs on the second floor above the local flower shop reading GOLD CANADA GOLD.

Although the song had its place, I'll be happy if I don't hear I Believe for a very. very. long time. The same goes for the first seven notes of the CTV trumpet theme. No more please.

The Georgian luger's crash and violent looting by protesters during the first few days broke my heart. The latter made me angry, the former made me weep.

The Vancouver 2010 medals were stunning. So fluid and organic, I loved how they were undulated and marveled at them each time they were presented. Read more about them here on the Royal Canadian Mint's Web site.

Michael Buble, giant beavers and flying moose. It really doesn't get much better than that does it? Except for maybe Neil Young and Michael J. Fox.

I swear a LOT when I watch hockey.

It felt good to win so many gold medals. It was nice. I felt happy and proud. And I like how everyone else did too.

The games were fun to watch, they excited and engaged. I was sad to see them end, though my mind and body are thanking me this week as I catch up on sleep and return to life as I knew it pre-Olympics. It was a fun ride folks, kudos to all who made it so!

Be As a Bird

2010-02-22T07:20:00.001-08:00

Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her, still she sings away all the same, knowing she has wings.
- Victor Hugo

This morning a mystery songbird graced me with its melody. Much as I tried to catch a glimpse and identify it, it was nowhere to be seen. It was a balm for the soul.

A Good Bad Week (or Sunday Gratefuls)

2010-02-21T08:55:00.000-08:00

This past week at work was rough and left me drained on most days, sapped of energy to do anything other than crash in bed or in front of the TV. That made it a bad week.

But it was a good week too, 'cause even if work was draining so many good things transpired for which I am grateful:

sharing powerful moments of hope and tears with a friend over sunny weather drinks on a gray February day
finding a house to rent that meets most of the criteria D. and I listed on on our wish list, seeing it, sleeping on our decision to go ahead with it then signing the lease
after acknowledging that work isn't going so well, finding the courage to talk to my boss about switching projects, confronting my fears of failure and letting people down because I know it's the right thing to do
celebrating another friend's major milestone, witnessing how powerfully inspiring one can be by simply doing the right thing one day at a time
getting an unexpected $150 back-pay cheque (woohoo!)
curling up with D. and Cassie on a Sunday morning to watch Montgomery Clift in a Hitchcock movie that was filmed in one of my favourite places, Old Québec City, and being inspired by Hitchcock's cinematography to fish out my photos of Old Québec and play with post-processing
finding a pair of sexy tall black boots that fit my, ahem, thicker calves (#10 on the list) and a bonus pair of funky tall rain boots
opening myself to the possibility that I still have some healing to do from my separation six years ago and that it's OK
reading about the hiking trails of New Brunswick, identifying which ones we could explore during the summer vacation we're considering and getting pumped about hiking again
for the first time in months (years?), feeling a soupçon of the confidence and zest for life I felt when I was on sabbatical in my funky little apartment downtown

If those aren't enough to make this bad week good I don't know what possibly could.

Till the next time...

A Catch-up Post

2010-02-11T16:09:00.001-08:00

[Warning: It’s long.]

~ D. and I were asked if we’d consider moving out of the house we’re renting two months earlier than planned, for June 1^st. We will, and after agonizing over the “Do we buy or do we rent again?” question for weeks we decided on renting. So now we search. Knowing that I’ll be moving in less than four months but not knowing where has me discombobulated. Home is an important piece of my foundation and when it’s threatened I get agitated. I would be a sucky nomad.

~ My sweetie gave me a copy of Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book, Committed, A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, for Valentine’s Day. He’s a keeper, non? It does beg the question though if he thinks I'm a skeptic when it comes to marriage; maybe last year’s post-proposal cold sweats in the middle of the night gave it away. Yet here I am trusting, risking and loving, seeing where this nuptial ride will take me – where it will take us. I can't wait to delve into the book.

~ My return to work after two months off isn’t going as well as I hoped it would. After five weeks back I am snippy, intolerant, impatient, and feel just about how I felt before I left last October to rest. Surely there’s a lesson to learn here. In the meantime I don’t know how to deal with it; it’s leaving me exhausted and drained.

~ Last week I enjoyed dinner with a dear friend of mine. Afterward we popped over to a favourite new age bookstore I used to frequent, but hadn’t in a long time (you know the kind: tarot cards, incense, etc.), Maybe it was the incense, maybe it was the crystal bowls chakra chants or maybe it was seeing calendars by fellow Squammette Liz (so cool!), but for the first time in months I felt a few moments of inner peace. It was bliss.

~ D. and I enjoyed an amazing weekend at a luxury château in the woods. Posh yet not pretentious it was balm for the soul. Sipping chocolate-sprinkled hot chocolate beside a three-storey six-sided fireplace is definitely the way to go. Before reaching our woodland destination we caught an exhibit by J.W. Waterhouse at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts. The highlights: watching D. – who is much more familiar with Waterhouse’s work than I am – scurry from one painting to another saying “Come see this one! And this one!”, and seeing the original version of the Waterhouse reproduction on display in our guest room.

~ On this morning's commute to the office someone behind me honked, gesturing for me to hurry up. Without even blinking I look straight at him in my rear view mirror, broke into a wide grin and waved vigorously. It cracked me up. The guy behind me not so much. [grin]

~ The registration for Squam Art Workshops opened last week. After attending two years in a row I’m not sure if I’m going this year, but I highly recommend it! I have a soft spot for the fall session m’self. Not only is the focus on visual arts appealing, but New Hampshire in September is divine.

~ January 25th quietly marked my four year blogging anniversary. I started an Urban Living Experiment when I moved to a sweet apartment in a 1920s walk-up after separating from my then husband; when I started the blog I had no clue where it would lead me. Truth is, today I feel I'm at a blogging standstill and that my writing's gone stale. I have plenty of ideas including a fun (OK, what I think would be a fun) snail mail social networking experiment and I’ve had draft posts in the wings since September. I bought a URL and have a partially revamped blog waiting to come out. There’s just no juice to make it happen. I’m not ready to give up though so I carry on, one post at a time.

Catch-up complete. Till the next post…

Pausing for Activity and Repose

2010-02-05T06:20:00.000-08:00

I'm off for a bit of mid-winter chillin'. In the meantime I leave you with a quote that's been with me for a few weeks now, just waiting for an excuse to be posted. I figure a getaway blending activity and repose is as good as an excuse as any.

"We must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose."
- Indira Gandhi

See you on the flip side.

February Gratefuls (or The Anti-Blahs)

2010-02-02T17:12:00.000-08:00

The February blahs seem to be rearing their ugly head already and I think a list of things for which I am grateful would be a good antidote, alors voici:

warm wool blankets
sunshine and blue skies
a fridge full of food
paint and canvases and cardboard
a home to shelter me from the cold
a new-to-me butterfly jigsaw puzzle
hot chocolate
peppermint tea
art magazines
a 1950's teaching book called Natural Science Through the Seasons
a 1937 Film Pictorial Annual inscribed "June Timms, Christmas 1936"
my laptop
classic movies
my black patent leather (vinyl?) mary jane ballerina flats
an upcoming field trip to Montréal with the Mad Chatters, a discussion group I'm a part of that's been going strong for over four years (can't say the same for our blog though - oops!)
an upcoming weekend getaway with D. to Château Montebello with a possible detour to Montréal to catch a Waterhouse exhibit at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts (LOVE that place)
a potential trip to NYC in the works
D.'s arms - he's cozy
Cassie's soft golden fur - she's cozy
being surrounded by coziness
my family
my friends
the opportunity to heal hurts that still linger
this space, this blog
chickadees and blue jays
Pinot Grigio
my eight year old Honda Civic
find-a-words
I'm going to be an auntie to a new niece come March (yay!)
Squam Art Workshops and the wonderful connections it brought me, how it opened me up to deep friendships, creative community and possibility
my library
a book on Canadian painting I found there a few weeks ago
dinner plans with a dear friend at a favourite vegetarian restaurant
Mad Men
a paycheck
my home office and whiteboard
possibility

I could go on.

Tonight's score: Steph 37, Blahs 0.

A Journey of Artistic Discovery

2010-01-30T10:29:00.000-08:00

experimenting with tar gel

I am swimming in artistic inspiration, playing with colour, tools and style. I am thirsty for knowledge, reading, learning, discovering the work of artists who came before me - of artists who are there now. I am enamoured with creative possibility.

I tell myself that it's an unnecessary indulgence, struggling with feelings of selfishness and arrogance: "Who am I to think I can paint anything interesting or worthwhile?" I tell myself I should hold back. But luckily an even louder voice tells me to just forge ahead and see where it goes.

So will I forge and play without expectation. I will study and show up and see what comes, feeding my curiosity and enjoying the journey as it unfolds.

A Little Bit of Different

2010-01-27T15:22:00.000-08:00

I must have been inspired by the Canadian landscapes I've been reading about these past few weeks, this is a new result for me in creative play. I foresee a bit of tweaking here & there, but I like where they're going!

newlyweds - work in progress

bygone era - work in progress

An Enhanced Art Viewing Experience

2010-01-23T16:40:00.000-08:00

North Shore, Lake Superior (Lawren Harris)

I sat on the lone black leather bench positioned in the middle of the room and took it all in: straight ahead through a doorway, on the far wall of an adjacent gallery, Emily Carr's The Welcome Man and Fir Tree and Sky; to my left, Tom Thomson's Pine Island; to my right, Lawren Harris' iconic North Shore Lake Superior (above). It was all so beautiful I suddenly wanted to cry, tears welling quickly and unexpectedly.

I'd seen these pieces before, but never did they trigger such intense emotion. I blame three things:

a spontaneous library find called Great Canadian Painting - A Century of Art (published in 1966) through which I'm learning more about Canadian artists with whom I'm already familiar and discovering artists I never even knew existed,
Emily Carr's Hundreds and Thousands: The Journals of an Artist, and
my taking up painting.

With just the little bit of knowledge gained through the first book and the glimpse into Ms Carr's interior landscape through the second, I felt a more intimate connection to the work in front of me.

I imagined Tom Thomson painting in full woodsman garb and a canoe; wondered if Emily Carr was dealing with turmoil the day she painted those two pieces or if she felt peaceful and content. I was drawn by an inexplicable spiritual quality coming through in Lawren Harris' piece that Ms Carr so admired in his work.

I also looked at colour, composition and brush strokes with a new perspective. I leaned in close and studied the paintings at different angles to observe textures and layers, taking mental notes to emulate some of it back in my studio, anxious to learn even more through practice.

Frankly it all took me by surprise. I had no idea that satisfying an artistic curiosity would have such an effect.

The moral of this story you ask? Learning about art - and artists - has the potential to enhance one's art viewing experience tenfold, adding depth and intimacy where before there was merely interest and admiration. I believe it; today's experience was my personal proof in the pudding.

On Showing Up... (or Defeating Resistance)

2010-01-19T07:51:00.001-08:00

For the past several days I'd been itching to paint, but for some reason was resisting in a very big way, finding every excuse in the book to avoid showing up at the table.

Finally, yesterday I decided to just go. I walked to the table, picked up a canvas and chose paint colours.

The results were all over the place (see for yourself below) and although I'm not entirely sure where they'll end up, I'm not sure it matters. What matters is that I showed up and THAT's what'll defeat resistance.

Here's to showing up - one day at a time. [clinking glasses]

unfinished and untitled
(sorry for the glare - bad lighting)

unfinished, inspired by Riopelle perhaps?

untitled

Advance Confidently

2010-01-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

~ Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Oh dear Henry, your words never grow old with me.

A New Year Braindump

2010-01-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

It’s January and I have a confession to make: I've no word for the new year nor do I have any recap or goal-related lists - none written down anyway.

[collective gasp!]

I tend to let things percolate a bit before formalizing anything into lists or plans or goals. I sift through the options and try to sit with them for a while to see how they feel. Of course one could also mistake this for the ramblings of a procrastinator in denial. [cough]

Whatever it may be, to help the process along I thought I'd share a braindump of selected things coming up in 2010 – some entirely negotiable, others not so much (note: although this is technically a list, rest assured there is nothing formal about it other than the use of bold letters and bullets):

A new home. The owners of the house we rent today are coming back this summer so we have to find a new place to live. Do we buy? Do we continue to rent? Do we move out to the country? To a small town? Then we pack, unpack and recreate a home, no matter where we decide to go.
A new Website. I bought a URL and will likely be moving to Squarespace shortly so I can add features to my blog. Stay tuned…
New work projects. Selling my art and writing. Other possibilities to be refined into, or excluded from, a specific action plan: business-related workshops for artists, creativity-related workshops for business folks, a consulting business to help people explore their passions and how they can use them to create one or more income streams.
New knowledge. Through books, classes and workshops, but mostly through practice, experiments, and potentially a coach.
Basics. I’ve blogged about them before: sleep, morning pages, good food, plenty of water, quiet/couch time, computer-free time and a clean house.
Financial health. Furthering my learning and focus on financial intelligence, integrity and independence, taking into account not just the amount of debt or money in the bank, but how I relate to it and its impact on the rest of my life.
Fun. Because I seem to have let it slip through the cracks. The past several months have been heavy, heavy, heavy; I want to bring fun and a sense of adventure back into my life.

I don't know how these things will materialize yet. In fact, I'm having a hard time dealing with the amount of unknowns specific to a few of them, but that's a whole other post for a whole other day. Today's goal was simply to show up and share a sampling of what's spinning in this busy little head of mine.

What about you? What good things are you entertaining for 2010? It's ok if you don't have a word and there's no need for formalities, braindumps are more than welcome!

Cardboard Playdate #5

2010-01-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

...aaaand I'm done:

Mary

My fifth and final piece brings this little experiment to a close. Leading me to the table and prompting me to play with different colours, tools and techniques, I consider it a resounding success! So much so that I might try it again. I'll be sure to let you know if I do - perhaps you'll play along with me?

ps - Thank you to all for the encouraging notes and comments. xo

Cardboard Playdate #4

2010-01-08T14:42:00.000-08:00

As promised, a picture of yesterday's play:

blank slate

I'm less keen on this one, but I committed to myself that I would post them all here - the good and not so good. One more to go!

Cardboard Playdate #3

2010-01-07T15:07:00.000-08:00

The light was so bad last night I had to wait till today to take a decent picture - and even then the light wasn't great. Here what I did yesterday:

This one was entirely palette knife play. I love the textures that resulted and am thinking a high gloss finish would highlight them well.

I'm enjoying my little cardboard painting experiment a lot. The fact that it's salvaged cardboard and the small size of the pieces make it very non-intimidating and easy for me to go to the table. Today was the first day I wasn't really happy with the results (pic to come tomorrow), but that's what it's all about... practice and play!

Cardboard Playdate #2

2010-01-05T17:40:00.001-08:00

her simple truth

One Piece of Cardboard...

2010-01-04T13:58:00.000-08:00

... five creative play dates.

I decided to recycle a piece of cardboard salvaged from a dismantled gift basket received at Christmas by re-purposing it. I cut it into five pieces, prepped each one with Gesso and designated them play canvasses for the week. The biggest piece is about 5 1/2"x7 1/2".

Five pieces, five days, one piece a day. It's all about play and showing up at the table - there's really no pressure to perform on salvaged cardboard.

Here's my first one, I haven't named her yet:

acrylics and paper on cardboard
approx. 4"x7 1/2"

Ottawa PSA: Pay-What-You-Can at the National Arts Centre

2010-01-03T14:50:00.000-08:00

A message for the locals: there will be two Pay-What-You-Can (PWYC) English Theatre performances at the National Arts Centre (NAC) this month. The first is a little short notice tomorrow night, January 4th, but the second is January 12th:

Night - Monday January 4th, 8pm

Mother Courage and Her Children - Tuesday, January 12th, 7:30pm

PWYC nights at the NAC are a great, frugal way to enjoy a night out on the town and quality entertainment. I've gone a few times and although they reserve the right to stop and adjust the play if they need to (I think it's their final dress rehearsal) it's never happened when I was there. Seating is on a first-come-first-serve basis so go early it you want a good spot.

Enjoy!

Happy 2010

2010-01-01T13:24:00.001-08:00

a fresh start
(calendar and illustration by Eleanor Grosch)

May 2010 be filled with peace, joy and laughter. May the path to your dreams unfold and the gifts of acceptance and curiosity appear when it veers into unexpected directions. May a thirst for adventure fuel your soul, may moments of stillness bring you back to your Center. May the presence of kindred spirits warm your heart. May the knowledge that you are loved be with you always.

Happy New Year to you and your loved ones.

Steph :)
xo

December Views: Final Instalment

2009-12-31T15:48:00.000-08:00

I had intentions of sharing my lists and year-end reflections with you today, but alas it will not be. These types of things are not to be rushed.

Instead I share with you my final instalment of December Views - a spontaneous and new-to-me experiment that turned out to be very enjoyable:

icy green

icy blue

a feast of roast beast

Sheba - one of two munchkins (aka ewoks or beasters)
that bunked at our place for a few days

Sheba up close & personal

morning coffee reflection

Yule Is Come, Yule Is Gone

2009-12-29T12:28:00.000-08:00

"Yule is come and Yule is gone,
and we have feasted well;
so Jack must to his flail again
and Jenny to her wheel."
- proverb gleaned from the 2010 Old Farmer's Almanac

Last night I bought three 2010 calendars and a day planner. I love the crisp feeling of a blank grid waiting to be filled with insights, projects and experiences don't you? It brings back times of yore when I gently fondled my back-to-school notebooks, geometry sets and sweet smelling pencil cases.

It's a blank canvas waiting for next year's living masterpiece. What colours will I choose? Will my brush strokes be smooth and calm or disjointed and agitated - or will it be a mixture of both? Will lines be clearly defined or will they be absent, allowing textures to blend seamlessly into a harmonious whole?

It's a visual prompt to dream, create and start anew.

In this week's post-Christmas stillness I am allowing myself to slow down and breathe. I practice letting go of tension accumulated during the previous weeks' holiday rush with its preparations, fluctuations and expectations. I make room for silence and reflection, for dreams and ideas to come forth and energies to replenish.

Soon it will be time for lists and recaps and year-end declarations, and if there's anything this nerd loves more than a crisp new calendar it's a bulleted list! But before I break out the project plans, the bubble charts and return like Jenny to my wheel, I think there's a little more ruminating and gestating of ideas in sight - or maybe a little more feasting.

December Views: Week 3+

2009-12-23T08:52:00.000-08:00

I've been silent these days - mentally taking stock of the year past, pondering projects for the year to come while trying to balance it all out with living the here and now.

I suspect I'll touch on some of it here during the next few weeks, but for now I leave you with another set of December Views...

sweet clementine

when elephants fly...

sunny morning comfort

sunny morning comfort II

Mémère's apron

another meat pie miracle
(read about the first one here)

Happy Solstice

2009-12-21T08:58:00.000-08:00

The Winter Solstice holds a place dear to my heart. Last year I crafted a countdown of blog posts to mark the days up to the 21st in the form of Solstice Reflections (think a Solstice version of the Advent calendar).

At one point during my spiritual journey to December 21st, D. asked me "Why the Solstice?" A good question indeed. Here's what I replied on December 19th, 2008:

"These three weeks are turning out to be a spiritual journey leading to personal transition - a transition mirroring Nature's own shift from darkness to light. The questions explored and insights received are preparing me for the year to come, helping me shift from an internal to a more outward focus as I welcome 2009.

The new year is when I set out fresh intentions about who I want to be, what I'd like to do and how I'd like to go about doing it. These past few weeks will help shape those intentions.

So why the urge to have this correspond to the Winter Solstice?

Timing is one thing I guess - it conveniently takes place at the end of the calendar year. Connection to all things Nature is another. There's something comforting about timing my personal transition to Mother Nature's; it connects me to something universal and grants me the perspective I need to think beyond my ego. Finally, it just feels right."

Happy Solstice to you all.

Steph
xo

A Post of Gratefuls

2009-12-17T14:18:00.000-08:00

There are so many things swirling around my head, heart and soul lately, but for some reason I've no persistence to write about them.

Truth be told I've been feeling cranky and not-so-Christmassy these days, trying to strike that sometimes elusive balance sought during the holidays. When I get this way it's time for a list of gratefuls to remind me how good things really are.

So I leave you with a list of good things manifesting in my life today, for despite the flurry of to-do's and inner conflicts that surface at this time of the year, these too have found their way to my head, heart and soul...

my warm and cozy home
a real wood fireplace
my computer and new printer
a brand new computer waiting in the wings
art prints sold at my hair salon
painting supplies
my health
family
friends
silence
laughter
Squam, how it opened my heart to possibility and changed my world
Squamettes and creative community
pizza for dinner tonight
the month of December off
scoring another $43.75 at the consignment shop for items sold (in addition to $80 collected last month)
items slowly getting crossed off my 36 Things list
a fridge full of food
gifts under the Christmas tree
my little Honda Civic
snowflakes dancing or floating softly from the sky
a new whiteboard and colourful markers for my home office
morning pages
my Urban Living Experiment
last year's Solstice Reflections experiment
the upcoming new year and opportunities it may hold
my books
my library
classic movies and documentaries
nuthatches and chickadees outside my window
sunshine and blue skies
dreams and hopes and plans
inspiring blogs
my little point & shoot camera
a new really really warm hat for Ottawa winters
sparkly holiday lights lining the streets on an evening walk
good coffee
D. and Cassie
and the list could go on...

Indeed I am lucky and blessed. What are you grateful for today?

December Views: Week 2

2009-12-14T18:24:00.000-08:00

Another week in images...

nest at my window

window art by D.

shadows

gomashio bowl

warmth
(or: Steph's s first fire)

Prints are in...

2009-12-12T06:49:00.001-08:00

... and available for purchase at Bobbi Pin Hair Studio, 177 Armstrong St. in Ottawa (a block and a half from the Parkdale Market).

The scanner and printer did a wonderful job, the colours are vibrant and they look great!

Prints available:

Giselle (10x10 print on 12x12 paper)
What She Seeks, Be Free and Soar, Breathe (6x8 prints on 8x10 paper)

ps - For the non-locals, I'm targeting an online shop early in the new year. I'll keep you posted. :)

Art Inspired by Winter

2009-12-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

Today's winter storm inspired me to pick up my paintbrush for a second time since my return from Squam Art Workshops in September. It felt good.

December moon

bundled up

December Views: Week 1

2009-12-07T08:57:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Hippy Urban Girl's December Views, I offer you a post of images captured during this first week of December...

enjoying the sun

iron footing

testing, testing

Solstice sun

Mémère's treasures

Festive Mannie

swinging Simpsons on chandelier

The Courage of Alignment

2009-12-02T15:38:00.000-08:00

"Simplicity surfaces when there is congruence between your core values and your daily choices. A life without balance is one that either lacks clarity about what matters most, or lacks the courage of alignment."

- David Irvine, Simple Living in a Complex World

The courage of alignment.

Whether shifting daily choices or re-designing major aspects of our life to be more in tune with our values, it takes courage. Especially if it means rocking the boat.

Let's remember that and cut ourselves some slack the next time we take another baby step towards the life we want to create.

What I've Been Up To (or Sunday Gratefuls)

2009-11-29T06:44:00.000-08:00

It feels as if so many big and small things are happening, or may be happening, or being considered here these days. In the past few weeks I...

decided to extend my leave from work by another month, giving myself the month of December to continue resting and being; I now return to the office in January 2010
set a tentative target date to transition from my current job to being my own boss; once I commit fully I'll make that date public here :)
opened myself to the option of buying a house in a small town next year vs. renting in city
obtained my vendor's permit, scans of a few original pieces and priced the paintings that are hanging at my hair salon; tomorrow I start working on the prints
toyed with the idea of hosting Christmas dinner this year, after a few quick enquiries it looks like it might happen
continued decluttering the house and collected a surprise $81 for items sold at the consignment shop last Monday (YAY!)
practised rest, trust and action through "clean lines of quiet movement"
caught up on my finances
found joy in the play of a friend's puppy, a breakfast date with a dear friend, a clutter-free medicine cabinet (it's true!) and much much more

A full few weeks, non? What surprises me is that I feel balance and peace instead of the usual overwhelm and urgency that would come with such a list. For that I am grateful.

What have you been up to these days? Tell me.

Clean Lines of Quiet Movement

2009-11-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

Dancers
(Bennett Lake, September 2009)

"There is another way to serenity. It begins with letting go, not hanging on. It grows in silence and stillness, not through achievement or striving, but through trust and surrender. It thrives in simplicity and expresses itself through the clean lines of quiet movement."
- Mark A. Burch, Stepping Lightly

I gleaned this quote from last year's Solstice Reflections experiment. I was re-reading my posts and it stuck, again the words "clean lines of quiet movement" striking a chord deep within my current soul space.

I think I shall make it my mantra for the month of December.

A Perfect Escape

2009-11-21T15:05:00.000-08:00

Pine Ridge by Kevin Daniel
(from the Artists Collection)

I finished this jigsaw puzzle last week and there's another one waiting in the wings for tomorrow.

I love jigsaw puzzles, I have since I was a child. I become completely obsessed with them; if there's an unfinished puzzle somewhere in the house not much else gets done until I've smugly tapped in that last oh-so-satisfying piece. Supplement the process with a cup of peppermint tea and a crooning Billie Holiday in the background and OMG... bliss.

I have favourites that are part of my permanent collection; one particular Thomas Kinkade Christmas scene has become a yearly holiday tradition of mine. The rest of them come and go. Although there's the occasional splurge, most new-to-me puzzles I buy at the second hand store for less than two dollars. To avoid puzzle clutter my general rule is one in, one out.

So let me sum up: it's cheap, it's temporary, it's aesthetically pleasing, challenging, all-encompassing, meditative and satisfying. When my head is full and I feel overwhelmed, it's a perfect escape.

That Place Between

2009-11-20T16:29:00.000-08:00

"It is not so much that we're afraid of change and uncertainty, or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear... It's like being in between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to."

~ Marilyn Ferguson

Dear NaBloPoMo

2009-11-17T14:04:00.001-08:00

Dear NaBloPoMo,

You were fun while you lasted, but alas it is time we part ways.

You see, you have unfortunately become a daily burden that no longer brings me pleasure. Instead of writing with meaning I am writing out of obligation which leaves me stale, and that's just no fun for anyone - not for me nor for my readers.

I may continue posting daily or I may not. I am giving myself permission to bow out if I am not feeling it. It is not easy for a perfectionist like me to stop a commitment to a project such as yours halfway through, oh no not easy at all. But it feels right and this I must follow.

Thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone not only in writing, but in listening to that tiny voice that lets me know when things aren't working for me. For that I am grateful.

Your timing may have been off for 2009, but rest assured that you will remain in my good thoughts and consideration for years to come.

Sincerely,

Steph

Ode to Cassie

2009-11-16T17:45:00.000-08:00

I'm too tired for words tonight. What a perfect excuse for a pictorial ode to Cassie!

"Are you done yet?"

chillin'

through the beaded curtain

dragon

nappin'

looking out the window

dog & Mac

Nesting Wonderfully

2009-11-15T15:35:00.000-08:00

I'm nesting. Now before rumours start running wild, I am not - I repeat, NOT pregnant. I'm just nesting. Cocooning. Cleaning house. And it feels wonderful.

For the past several weeks I've been going through my things and pulling out what doesn't work anymore to either donate, consign or ditch it completely; I've been craving comfort, household "systems" and a clean house; and yesterday D. and I picked up a new duvet and a set of sheets and I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven!

Maybe it's because it's the fall or maybe it's the upcoming holidays, but my homemaking instincts are kicking in. Once in a while I even decide to heed them and cook, de-clutter or light a candle, each time making our space a bit more of a home.

Maybe my instincts are nudging me towards the birth of new projects or of a new stage in my life.

Whatever it is it feels like nesting. And it feels wonderful.

Gratefuls

2009-11-14T08:39:00.000-08:00

After fumbling with the key while clutching my bag of fair trade coffee beans, a waft of warm air greeted me as I swung open the door. Right then & there I realized that I am blessed.

It's time for a list of gratefuls folks, because really there is much to be grateful for these days...

the means to buy fair trade coffee, organic fruit and have organic local veggies delivered to my door
a warm, comfortable home
a hairdresser who is also a friend, who said yes to hanging my paintings in her salon without even having seen any of my work
the privilege of having shared an evening of love, laughter and celebration last week with my cousin, her husband, her girls and a whole lotta family!
my own family and roots
a freshly cleaned home office and living room
a network of supportive friends and kindred spirits
my bookshelves full of books
having the month of November off at home, with no real obligations except the ones I impose on myself
my health
possibilities
a loving husband who watches classic movies, cooks, and helps me strengthen my critical thought and expression muscles through spirited discussion
a loving Golden Retriever who never ceases to amaze me with her unconditional love and spontaneous joy, even when we skip her walk
an empty city lot outside my office window with mature trees, squirrel play, nuthatches and woodpeckers galore

Life is indeed good isn't it? Sometimes I forget. Silly me.

A Computer-free Night

2009-11-13T14:33:00.000-08:00

comfort and candlelight

There's not much juice left in this brain of mine tonight to write anything substantial. It's been a busy few days and this chick's in dire need of some downtime.

I therefore declare the rest of my evening computer-free.

I'll catch you on the flip side.

Building on Experience

2009-11-12T17:28:00.000-08:00

a winter wreath mosaic

In 2004 and 2005 I designed and sold winter wreaths; my total sales for both years were less than $500. That's sales, not profit.

Two weeks ago I unearthed a pile of notes and records related to my wreath venture. There were notes from craft shows indicating if they would be a good fit for my product, what kind of clientele attended and what kinds of price ranges were there. There was an Excel sales log complete with cost of production and profit margin for each piece. And then my favourites: sales slips, hang tags and an artist's (crafter's?) statement, all adhering to a consistent image sporting a Papyrus font and Microsoft clipart.

Fast-forward to yesterday and a phone call I got from my hairdresser. Remember the paintings I hung at her place last week? Turns out they're garnering interest and that, in her words, it's time for me to "get my butt in gear and bring in a price list." There's also a potential market for prints, especially for Giselle who is not for sale (she's my first face from scratch, therefore a keeper).

Eep!

After hanging up, bouncing around on an adrenalin rush and subsequently catching my breath, I turned to my wreath venture for inspiration. After all if I did it once surely I could do it again. So I am.

Mimicking steps I took back then I'm re-using the Excel template to calculate production costs and pricing for my artwork, I'm diligently typing up notes from each recon phone call to the printers, and just like I wrote a crafter's statement for display at craft shows, I intend to write an artist's statement for display at the salon. I'm pulling out my books on selling crafts, gleaning tips that apply just as much to original paintings as they did for wreaths.

I can do this. I've done it before, now it's time to build on that experience - a tiny business venture initiated five years ago that today is giving me tools and confidence to move forward in something new. And just that is worth the effort I put into it, maybe even greater reward than the $500 in sales.

For The Fallen

2009-11-11T07:42:00.000-08:00

With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.

Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England's foam.

But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;

As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.
- Laurence Binyon

An Instance of Creative YES

2009-11-10T12:11:00.000-08:00

heart skipping a beat
grinning wildly
mind piecing concepts and images together
turning them around then flipping it all upside down
until they connect into one overarching picture
from which they become
tangible ideas in waiting
something real in the making
palpable energy
ready to discover what comes next

This is what happens when I experience Creative YES. It feels good.

Pondering...

2009-11-09T19:24:00.000-08:00

my basics, and if I'm taking care of them during my time off
roots, children and family
ritual and its place in life, in my home
the purchase of a new computer and printer
selling prints of selected paintings
how I dislike - with a passion - feeling over-scheduled or in a rush
living in the country
the need for a novel or a good story to tame my monkey mind before bed
the near arrival of the holidays
my, our, financial picture
plans for the next year, and how plans rarely turn out how we think they will when we lay them out
why I automatically associate veering plans with bad things, how maybe it could mean something even better than what we could imagine in the first place
nature and how I haven't spent much time with her in the past several weeks
the importance of having fun and celebrating life to balance out the darker parts
how things really do seem possible if minds and hearts become aligned
going to bed, I'm tired
how NaBloPoMo is pushing me just a little out of my comfort zone, and how I'm still not sure I have the energy to sustain it the entire month
my surprise at the length of this post considering I had no clue what I was going to write today

An Early Holiday Message

2009-11-08T16:08:00.000-08:00

The holiday season is a tricky one to navigate and sometimes ideals get lost in the shuffle, but thankfully there are people who keep reminding us to keep trying. And as long as we keep trying that's what counts right?

I'm not a religious person (raised Roman Catholic, haven't practiced in years), but the message in the video below transcends religion in my eyes. It captures the simple living principles I've been trying to live by for the past several holiday seasons.

A big thank you to Jenica for leading me to it. I like it. I want to share it here:

Taking Stock

2009-11-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I cleaned my office and found piles of notes and end products related to several projects undertaken in the past five years:

online writing classes and assignments
market research, business card designs and company stationery for a seasonal wreath business I operated winter 2004 and 2005 - I designed, crafted and sold Christmas wreaths
enterprise architecture work I did for a non-profit organization called Servas International
brainstorming notes, mind maps and lists of ideas related to creating multiple income streams or profit centres
a plan and proposal for creating a family history book for a prospective client, complete with pricing research and quotes
discovery work on my interests and skills based on What Color Is Your Parachute and Finding Your Perfect Work
a prototype for a small book of quotations published by my (at the time) soon-to-be small press publishing company, complete with company logo on the back
a notebook full of class notes and handouts from several courses or small business seminars ranging from tax accounting to Booth Design for Craft Shows, from bookbinding to Establishing Yourself as an Expert

I'd forgotten about most of these. Seeing them all together boosted my confidence and reminded me that I'm capable of working through challenges, trying new things and putting myself out there. It was good to take stock - and very timely.

I guess sometimes we need to remember how much we've done to believe in how much we're capable of doing.

What are you capable of that might have been forgotten? I dare you to go through your piles and find out.

Patience, Gentle Patience

2009-11-06T08:21:00.001-08:00

one of three resident windowsill/shelf turtles

I am struggling with patience these days. Not your "Grrrr I can't open the peanut butter jar" kind of patience, but the more gentle "If I don't get to it this year I'll get to it another year" kind of patience.

A kind soul who replied to a Facebook update venting my struggle wrote "No one is chasing you." Well said. I am chasing myself. But why? What's the rush?

Fear. Fear of missing out; fear that there won't be another opportunity later on, that it's now or never; fear of leaving this world without having done all that I want to do.

Tsk. Such [false] urgency.

So here's the question that came to mind: So what? What's the worse that could happen if I don't do it all, if I miss out on an opportunity? What's the best that could happen if I slow down and focus on what's in front of me?

It's not an excuse to slack off, it's an attempt to be content in the now and manage expectations stemming from my left-brain list-making goal-setting tendencies.

I have no answers, only questions and insights to ruminate and let be. But I do have hope. Hope that through practice I will find reconciliation and balance that will quell the inner turmoil - or at least acceptance that I will find no such thing and carry on as best as I can.

Gentle patience indeed.

Scenes from Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-05T18:27:00.001-08:00

I'm not very inspired for words tonight so I thought I'd leave you with a few favourite photos from a crisp, early Thanksgiving morning at N & L's place in the country (D's brother and his wife)...

sunrise

whatchalookinat?

warmth and frost I

warmth and frost II

warmth and frost III

What's Your Theory?

2009-11-04T13:24:00.000-08:00

"...whatever the nature of one's beliefs, one's personal conduct may either follow the belief pattern or diverge from it. In so far as it diverges, it helps produce unwanted results. At the same time, it splits practice away from theory and divides the personality against itself. The most harmonious life is one in which theory and practice are unified."
- Helen and Scott Nearing, Living the Good Life

I like this quote. I'm not sure what to do with it, but it jumped out at me from the page today and I felt compelled to share it here.

How could I unify practice and theory? What's my theory to begin with?

How about you? What's your theory?

On the Map!

2009-11-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

After a few months in the making I finally hung some of my paintings at my hair salon for display and eventually, sale (I'm not quite set up for the sale part yet, but I'll be working on it during the next few days).

Warning: The quality of the photos sucks, but they'll give you an idea of the setup and how the paintings look on the walls.

bobby pin hair studio

What She Seeks (left) and Dark Side of the Moon (right)

Giselle

(my first face from scratch - this photo will definitely NOT be for sale :)

Be Free and Soar

Mika (top) and Embracing the Light (bottom)

Breathe

(thanks for letting me borrow this one back for display Sis!)

Deciphering

I had a lot of fun putting them up and it's pretty neat to see them hanging in a public place. Her hair studio also happens to be on the Hintonburg Arts Map (lucky #13!). It feels good.

ps - A big thank you to Sis for bringing up the idea of hanging my paintings with our hairdresser; I'm bumping her photos off the walls to make room for my stuff!

Introducing: Parts of Me

2009-11-02T23:16:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of yesterday's post about authenticity and sharing all parts of me on my blog, I thought I'd leave with you a list of things about me that you may or may not know. I had fun putting it together:

~ I am an artist and a Squammette. I like pigtails, fingerless gloves and funky necklaces.

~ I am a student of small business and entrepreneurship. I plan to be my own boss, create income sources to support the life I want and take what comes with it - the good and the bad.

~ I am also a student of Voluntary Simplicity and seek financial independence. I strive to simplify finances, possessions, relationships, time commitments and figure out how much is enough for me

~ I am a procrastinator. It's 11pm and I'm writing my NaBloPoMo post for the day. 'Nuf said.

~ I love brainstorming and looking at the big picture. I geek out on bubble charts, lists, enterprise architecture and the Zachman Framework.

~ I am a communicator. I get lost in writing and thrive on the challenge of communicating something as clearly and simply as possible whether in writing or with a picture. In contrast, I allow myself to write freely in my Morning Pages and sometimes let authentic, natural expression trump the rules.

~ I love nature and hiking. I think my dusty hiking boots, cargo pants and favourite ball cap are really cool. I enjoy the challenge of climbing scraggly trails, the smell of pine needles and the high of a breathtaking view.

~ I am a complete bird geek. When an Indigo Bunting landed at my finch feeder in May 2002 I called my mom (long distance) and told her there was an effin Indigo Bunting at my window. Yes, I used the f-bomb on the phone with my mom, because of a bird.

~ I am a homemaker and secretly revel in producing loads of clean laundry. I do NOT however, revel in housecleaning. Hearty soups are my favourite thing to cook. I want to learn how to knit, sew and spin.

~ I feel my emotions passionately (read: I can be moody). I can dive into a downward spiral and want to do nothing but eat chicken soup and sleep. On the flip side, I live my highs thoroughly and often use momentum to push forward with personal projects. It's a cycle and although I've not mastered its navigation, I try to get by as gracefully as I can. I learn with each one.

~ I am a wannabe homesteader. I gobble up books by Helen and Scott Nearing and dream of living in the country, preserving food from my organic gardens and living off the grid. I dream of building an art studio made of straw bales on my property.

~ I enjoy classic movies and recently discovered that I like silent films. The plot lines, dialogue and images draw me in. Fred and Ginger make me swoon.

~ I am an urban chick and enjoy the edge that comes with living downtown. I enjoy hanging out in coffee shops and farmers' markets, people-watching and running all of my errands without needing a car.

~ I value connection, honesty, beauty, nature, self-care and community.

~ I am a wife, a sister, a friend, a daughter and much, much more.

~ I am not perfect. I practice being the best me I can be, one day at a time.

On Blogging, Fear and Authenticity

2009-11-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to write tonight, but I'm toying with the idea of participating (unofficially of course) in NaBloPoMo so I'm sitting here typing with the hopes that something semi-intelligent will make its way through the keyboard to the screen for Day 1 just in case.

Truth is, I've lost confidence in my ability to write here. It's not for a lack of ideas, I have a notebook full of scribbles and sometimes my mind is moving so fast I can hardly keep up with it.

It's about fear. Fear of what others will think of me, fear that whatever I write has already been said, fear of being boring. Fear that communities I've found or connections I've made through specific parts of my life won't like reading about what's going on in other parts and reject me.

These fears can lead to writing that is safe and stays at the surface. That's not necessarily what I want. I like to explore and be true and sometimes that means taking risks. So although they may shift, just for today - or maybe this month - I will remind myself of the goals I laid out for my Creative Living Experiment back in May:

to observe life in and around me,
to write regularly,
to document my experiment in creating a life I want - whatever fields of interest that may include, and
to expand my mind and life experience by learning more about my interests and sharing what I’ve learned with others.

I see nothing about self-imposed peer pressure, safety or perfection. What I do see is opportunity to learn, reflect, practice and share an honest, authentic version of myself that includes all parts of me.

Surely that should be enough to get me through Day 2.

I ♥ My Library

2009-10-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

October is Canadian Library Month. Being a self-confessed library nerd I thought I'd honour the event by putting in an eleventh hour plug for this amazing FREE service.

I use the library a LOT and probably visit it once a week to pick up, browse or return items. I use it mostly for books and DVDs, but those are really just the tip of the iceberg. The Ottawa Public Library offers family passes to the National Gallery of Canada and the Canadian Museum of Contemporary Photography, the Museum of Nature, Science & Tech, Civilization... all on loan for a week during which I can use the pass every day. I can even borrow a "Kill-a-Watt" meter to measure power consumption in my home or a pedometer to count my steps to health.

The library also hosts or provides meeting space for stuff like writing groups, the local Jane Austen Society chapter, homework clubs, conversation and friendship circles. And let us not forget the wide-ranging reference and information services for which libraries are known in the first place.

A bonus tidbit for the locals: Did you know that Ottawa still has an original Carnegie Library standing? According to Wikipedia, the Rosemount Branch opened its doors in 1919 and was the last Carnegie grant given in Canada. Lucky us!

In case you haven't noticed, I ♥ my library. I really do. If you haven't visited your local library yet I encourage you to do so either in person, or if it's available, online. You might learn to ♥ it too.

On Work and Leisure

2009-10-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

early morning frost
(Thanksgiving 2009, Lansdowne, Ontario)

"We had our work, did it and enjoyed it. We had our leisure, used it and enjoyed that. During the hours of bread labor we worked and worked hard. We have never worked harder and have never enjoyed work more, because, with rare exceptions, the work was significant, self-directed, constructive and therefore interesting."

- Helen and Scott Nearing, Living the Good Life

A (Long) Freeform Catch-up Post

2009-10-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

I've been putting too much pressure on myself to write the perfect post so I decided to cut myself some slack and go freeform - 'cause sometimes freeform is where it's at. For your reading pleasure, here are a bunch of random and not-so-random happenings & thoughts from the past few weeks:

I'm going to be an auntie!
D.'s brother and his wife found out that the little bean they've been nurturing for the past 19 weeks is a GIRL! Congratulations to them - everyone is simply tickled pink. Seeing pictures of my little niece taken in her mother's womb is leaving me in awe and reminding me of joy and miracles. It's so good.

AAA: Acknowledgment, Acceptance, Action
A few weeks ago I finally accepted that I had delved into depression. Sleep was my comfort; I retreated from social situations - online and off and started slipping at work, noticing that I wasn't as sharp (ahem) as usual. My level of patience dipped and my level of snippiness went up considerably, all of this prompting me to scale back to basics. Funny thing is though, as soon as I acknowledged the situation, accepted it and took action - whether it meant scaling back or seeking help - it started getting better. Note to self: acknowledgment, acceptance and action rule.

A break from work
One of the results of my above AAA journey is a four-week break from work. I prayed for the time off, craved it, got it, then promptly questioned whether I even wanted it anymore: "What will people think? Am I just weak? Surely I can suck it up." Thankfully acceptance once again came into play (pretty quickly might I add) and tamed the gremlins. Having time off to rest and not have to worry about going into the office is a gift and I look forward to it. I stumbled upon this post on burnout by Danielle LaPorte at White Hot Truth this morning and fancy her outlook. With words like "I'm curling up to my tenderized being and I'm really very pleased with the state of me", how could I not?

Paintings coming soon to a hair salon near you
Although I've very few plans for my time off, it just so happens one of the first things on deck is an appointment to hang some of my paintings at my hair salon for sale and display. How cool is that? I'll make sure to post some pictures of the space once they're up.

A timely reminder that I am capable
Last weekend I cleaned a few shelves in my office and found a lot of notes from past projects: writing classes, small business seminars, my winter wreath business venture, volunteer work and brainstorming on dreams and possible income streams. I've done a LOT in the past five years. Seeing that gave me confidence and reminded me that I have a lot to offer - perseverance, knowledge and skills that can help me create and support the life I want. I was grateful for the timely boost.

Servas International
During my sabbatical in 2007 I volunteered for Servas International, an organization focused on building peace by connecting travellers throughout the world and helping them learn about each other's culture. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my 11 months off. During last weekend's office cleanup I found some of my Servas notes and for some reason couldn't bring myself to throw them in the recycle bin so I filed them in the back of my cabinet. This week I got an email out of nowhere from the person I worked with two years ago inviting me to a catch-up coffee outing. With that kind of serendipitous timing, I think accepting is no-brainer. :)

Et voilà! The thing about freeform catch-up posts is that they can be very long, but they work. I feel all caught up; I hope you do too. Till the next time...

Comforting Words

2009-10-13T05:14:00.000-07:00

reflection on Bennett Lake (September 2009)

"Do not be impatient with your seemingly slow progress. Do not try to run faster than you presently can. If you are studying, reflecting and trying, you are making progress whether you are aware of it or not. A traveler walking the road in the darkness of night is still going forward. Someday, some way, everything will break open, like the natural unfolding of a rosebud." ~ Vernon Howard

Thank you to my dear friend Lala for the quote and its perfect timing.

Giving Thanks for Life In Its Entirety

2009-10-11T06:39:00.000-07:00

"A great photograph is a full expression of what one feels about what is being photographed in the deepest sense, and is, thereby, a true expression of what one feels about life in its entirety."
- Ansel Adams

Yesterday afternoon D. and I spent over two hours exploring Ottawa's Experimental Farm with our cameras in hand - he his digital SLR focusing on homework for this term's photography class, I with my point & shoot focusing on creative inspiration and play.

It was magic for my soul.

For the past month - time at Squam Art Workshops excepted - I've been in a pretty powerful funk that on most days, left me drained of energy with a view of the world through very dark glasses. Yesterday was one of the first times I ventured out for a trek longer than the one to my local coffee shop or grocery store. At one point during my outing, I found myself deeply immersed into photographing cornstalks, oblivious to the world around me, grinning ear to ear (no pun intended). When I deemed I'd captured enough corn photos I skipped down the road to catch up with D.

I skipped. Down the road. With my trusty little point & shoot in hand and pigtails in my hair. And in that moment I felt free of the weight that's been dragging me down for the past several weeks.

Yesterday I felt good about life in its entirety and for that I am grateful. I leave you with a few photos that helped make it so.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Love,
Steph
xo

cow crossing

étude de corn stalk 01 of 29

elongated shadow

noble chartreuse

cow and Canada Post Headquarters

ochre on blue sky

Back to Basics

2009-10-05T12:23:00.000-07:00

I've been quiet here as of late. The last two weeks have found me feeling depleted of energy with barely enough to get me through the day at the office, let alone work on anything demanding even an ounce of brain power here at home.

When I feel like that I know it's time to scale back to basics, so for the past few weeks I did just that.

Basics no doubt vary from one person to another and although they'll most likely shift depending on one's life circumstances, I tend to gravitate towards a few standards:

Sleep. Power naps after work on weekdays, morning or afternoon naps on weekends, early bedtime all around. I make a point to stay away from anything that gets my mind into high gear before going to bed and try to give myself at least an hour to transition from high-functioning wake to sleep.

Morning pages. A practice introduced to me by Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way 10 years ago, I strive to write them on a daily basis. When I fall off the wagon I notice; I get cranky and easily overwhelmed. On the flip side, when I do them I feel more centered and at peace. Sometimes sleep trumps my morning pages, but I can only sacrifice the pages for so long before the benefits brought by an extra half hour of shut-eye are lost.

Food. Not just any food but decent, as-healthy-as-possible meals. On some days it means two toasts with a piece of cheese for dinner, on others it means ordering a quarter chicken meal with sweet potato fries from a favourite (healthy!) restaurant or temporarily carbing up on Pad Thai. It's all about keeping it simple and as healthy as possible without too much pressure for perfection.

Water. It's easy for me to forget my daily quota of H2O yet it helps with energy and mental clarity. Drinking water is a habit; often it's simply a question of remembering to have a glass by my side for easy sipping.

Quiet/couch time. This is time spent reading a book or a magazine, enjoying a favourite movie or something completely different borrowed from the library, or just hanging out with D. and Cassie. It may involve the odd bowl of chips and for the most part, it involves being curled up in a wool blanket.

A clean house. Home is my foundation. It's where I seek comfort and a space to lay my weary body, mind and soul. When all I see are dirty clothes and fur balls the size of watermelons I feel frazzled, which is not the state of mind I want to create for myself or for others who share my space. So bit by bit as energy levels allow, I tackle the piles and the fur balls - one sock and one dark corner at a time.

Computer-free time. Yesterday I experimented with not turning on my PC. Initially I thought I'd leave it off until late afternoon or after dinner, but about halfway through the morning I silently declared (read: tentatively committed to it without making it known so I could back out at any time) the day to be entirely computer-free. It was an enlightening and productive experiment that allowed me more time to take care of basics listed above. I might touch on this more in a later post.

Although these things may seem simple and easy to accomplish, they can be easy to forget and sometimes difficult to carry through.

When scaling back, one of the hardest things for me to accept is that I might - scratch that, will - miss out on something else. It takes a lot of practice for me to let go of creative projects, toss out expectations and pause for rest and recuperation. Ultimately though it comes down to the price I'm willing to pay for my health and in turn, the health of my relationships. And when I do scale back, I'm rarely disappointed with the results.

Tell me, what are your Basics?

Trust to Thy Heart

2009-09-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

"Feeling is deep and still;
and the word that floats on the surface
Is as the tossing buoy,
that betrays where the anchor is hidden.
Therefore, trust to thy heart,
and to what the world calls illusions."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Evangeline, A Tale of Acadie

So sensuous are his words they make me run my fingers along the page with longing, oblivious to the world around me.

Transition from Squam

2009-09-22T15:23:00.000-07:00

playing with clayboard and pastels

I'm having trouble finding the words to write about my experience at Squam this year.

There were no earth-shattering epiphanies like last year. There was no breakthrough achievement of driving solo to NH in my little Civic to join a camp full of strangers for art making. There is no all-encompassing high to carry me through these first few days back at the office.

There is contentment, fatigue and uncertainty about what comes next. Sometimes there is even a disconnect, wondering if it really happened at all.

But it did happen.

Because there were gentle insights, and smiles and hugs. There were reunions, tears of joy and the witnessing of transformation before my very eyes. There was much, much laughter. There were silent tears in the forest, comfort in deepening friendships, and exuberance in song. There was celebration, growth and art. There were chilly nights by the fire, stars on the dock, and honest conversation. There were pauses and snapshots along the journey to capture the moment.

I don't know how to process this yet, why the disconnect or where to go from here. But maybe that's OK. This is my transition space; there'll be plenty of time for specifics later.

Signing off...

2009-09-15T08:46:00.001-07:00

lanterns at Havenwood cabin - Squam 2008

... for a week of play in the woods of New Hampshire (that's two weeks playing in the woods in less than a month - lucky me!).

See you on the flip side!

Cottage Comforts

2009-09-12T04:46:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd share a few snippets of last week's cottage getaway comforts...

view from the dock

outdoor art - kindred spirits were here!

a favourite spot in the screened in porch

fuel for warmth on chilly September nights

comfort was curling up on that couch with a book
in front of a crackling fire

beauty in the small touches

moose on a ledge full of cottage trinkets

I didn't get a good picture, but I was smitten with the contents of their Billy bookcase library. Who wouldn't be with titles like "The Amateur Naturalist's Handbook", "Silent Spring" by Rachel Carson and "A Country-Lover's Guide to Wildlife" - not to mention all the field guides: birds, animal tracks, trees, reptiles, insects, to name a few.

Sigh, kindred spirits and comfort indeed. Is it any wonder I didn't want to leave? :)

Seeking: A Lighter Shade of Grey

2009-09-09T06:44:00.000-07:00

morning sun and mist on Bennett Lake

I have dipped in a post-vacation slump. Les bleus. Blah.

Last week’s stay at the cottage was balm for the soul. Blissful. With no obligations or schedule, it gave me space to breathe and escape the to-do’s of the previous weeks and those of the weeks to come.

I read. I slept. I curled up by the fire and fell asleep on the couch. I paddled around the lake with D. I let the bird geek in me shine. I re-connected with nature, simple and country living. I discovered that I’m not always comfortable with the night when there’s no ambient noise or light. I attempted to reconcile with the night by listening to its sounds, stargazing and cultivating a curiosity for what goes on while we sleep. I observed. I logged our activities and wildlife sightings in my journal. I ate chips - a lot of chips. I went to bed at 9:30pm and woke up at 7:30am, eager to discover what the lake and its surroundings had to offer each morning. I lounged on the dock in the sun and did nothing. I hung out with D. in comfortable silence. I hiked a new-to-me trail in Algonquin Park. I heard a wolf howl for the first time under a moonlit sky, accompanied by 800 fellow wolf howl enthusiasts. I scored some books at not one, but two used bookstores. I spent time with Sis, Bro-in-Law and a dear man who inspires with his love of life. I experienced contentment. I experienced anxiety. I experienced peace.

Today I feel tired and frazzled, dipping into a familiar territory I am reluctant to acknowledge. After last week’s colourful high, these past few days have been a shade of grey that’s quickly becoming darker in contrast. So today I’m allowing myself to rest, rest and see what balm my soul needs to bring back some colour - or at least a lighter shade of grey 'cause really, grey can be beautiful too:

lake dancers in the mist

Ready for a Vacation

2009-08-29T19:34:00.000-07:00

What a week this has been! Full, full, full of goodness. I...

ran three times
painted Monday, Tuesday and Thursday
worked almost six hours on my Outside the Job Bo x course
went to my last sunrise yoga class
worked a busy week at the office
wrote a few blog posts
picked up most of my supplies for Squam Art Workshops in September
picked up an escape novel and two new Teach Yourself books for my upcoming week off (Film Studies and Sudoku)
picked up frames and ordered custom-cut mats for my paintings in preparation for a potential exhibit at my hair salon in September
returned two out of the four frames 'cause they didn't work with the paintings and picked up a 16x20 pane of glass 'cause I cracked the glass on one of the brand new frames I'd just picked up
perfectly timed several loads of pre-vacation laundry so we had enough space to hang everything to dry in rotation after the dryer crapped out on Tuesday
planned, prepped & packed almost everything for our week at the cottage

I haven't been on a cottage vacation since childhood; I look forward to it! I feel like I'm bringing a lot of stuff to do though, you know, just in case. Does anyone else do that?

After all, if I bring too many options from home, when do I get the chance to just be, or play cards, or sit by the fire, or go canoeing, or hiking, or swimming, or lounge in the sun and do sweet nothing?

Hm. Maybe I need to rethink my strategy.

Either way I'll be living by a lake for a week in a cottage with D. surrounded by trees, loons and stars. Sweet vacation, I am ready. As for you my dear friends, I'll catch you on the flip side.

A Vision of Squam and #7 on The List

2009-08-27T19:07:00.000-07:00

When I saw this picture I started crying. I was overwhelmed with feelings of joy, relief, validation, pride, belonging, recognition and disbelief.

My painting is the 5th one on the top row and it's on this poster, for an art show, at a real gallery, surrounded by artwork created by teachers and peers who attended Squam Art Workshops in 2008. And it doesn't stick out like a sore thumb. It's a major personal achievement.

For those in or near the Rochester NH area, here are the specifics for a show that promises to be lovely all around thanks to a few very dedicated women with a grand vision:

Who: art by Squam 2008 teachers and attendees; show put together by visionary Liz, and Susan and Mary-Jo from artstream studios
What: A Vision of Squam art show
When: Sept. 1-30, 2009, official opening is Sept. 11 from 5pm-7pm
Where: artstream gallery, 56 North Main Street, Rochester, New Hampshire
Why: to celebrate the spirit of Squam Art Workshops

Local shmocal, I'm crossing #7 off my list.